I could lay here forever…
Every night I bring Olivia up to bed and lay with her until she falls asleep. This is probably the most precious time I have in my entire day. Each night, Olivia and her dad have ‘comfy cozy time’ and then I come by and ask, ‘Do you want to go to bed with mommy?’ and I get a huge smile and kicking feet. Olivia seems to really cherish the time she has with her father and I each night.
Olivia sleeps in our room, on her own bed. We had to move her up there last April after she almost died from choking to death from a seizure in her own room. I bring her up to bed and we have our night time routine. Turn on the lady bug, turn on the singing penguin, turn on the humidifier and the fan and lay down. Sometimes even though she said she wanted to go to sleep with mommy she moves all about, turning in circles in the bed, kicking me playfully, trying to crawl over me to get out lol. Sometimes she lays there and looks at me and looks into my soul. This little girl that cannot talk to me wants to talk to me. She wants to tell me what she is thinking. I cherish this time with her.
Having a child that can’t talk to you leaves you with questions of what she is thinking? What does she think of me? What does she want? How was her day? Normal questions you would just ask, but with Olivia we don’t get an answer. That time we spend, laying down, cuddling is the time I feel closest to my baby girl. After she falls asleep I find myself laying there not wanting to get up. I could lay there forever.